Archive for December, 2008

Is all Really Fair in Love and War? A Story…

Originally published on MySpace on December 19, 2008.

Is all really fair in love and war?

I got an email from a good friend the other day. I’ll call him Mitch. The email started out on a very positive note. It started out with, Karma is shining her face on me I guess. The subject:

But as always, there are interesting twists and turns when you are speaking of the online dating world.

Mitch’s email to me went on to say that he had just been thinking it was time to cancel his membership and give it all a rest for a while, because he just wasn’t meeting anyone worthwhile. Then he got an email from Cindy. She winked on a Monday morning, and they exchanged a few emails that day. It seemed she liked “nerdy, shy, intelligent types” (Mitch is), they enjoyed traveling to the same places, and even had the same favorite restaurant.

They arranged to meet for dinner on Wednesday. It all seemed too good to be true.

And it was…

He received an email from Cindy late Monday night, after they had traded emails all day and had planned to meet for dinner.

I would love to post the email verbatim here, but I don’t have permission from Mitch to do that. But here’s my version of it (grammatical errors and all!).


Hey, I’m sorry to have to break it to you, but don’t bother going to our
favorite restaurant on Wednesday – I won’t be there. In fact, I was really never planning to be there.

CONFESSION TIME: I put this profile up on Match and started emailing around to get my boyfriend jealous so that he’d get off his duff after 3 years and propose already, and it worked beautifully.

Sorry you got caught in the crossfires, but the emails had to look real. I guess your radar about my profile being to-good-to-be-true, was dead on. But hey, sometimes a gal’s gotta due what a gal’s gotta due.

If it makes you feel any better, you weren’t the only one I was emailing. Just one of the few I didn’t have to stand up. Happy Holidays!

Cindy <– Her real name because she deserves to be publicly flogged!

WTF Cindy? You used my good friend and a few other innocent bystanders to get your boyfriend to propose to you? And he actually walked right into your trap and proposed? Let me tell you something Cindy, people don’t like to be cornered and given ultimatums. Your boyfriend proposed to you under duress because he thought it was the only way he could keep you. Well guess what, if he’s not a dumbass he’ll wake up one day soon and kick you to the curb. Who wants to spend the rest of their life with a manipulative woman who acts like she’s still in high school? Or maybe you’re both dumbasses and you just saved my friend Mitch from a disaster. Good riddance.

The moral of the story? People misrepresent themselves online all the time to get what they want. And they don’t give a shit about you, because you’re just a fictitious persona they came across on

P.S. My friend Mitch is not curled up in a fetal position because of this little incident. It’s just one of the many landmines of online dating. He was suspicious from the beginning.

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Broken Heart, a Poem

Originally published on MySpace on December 19, 2008.

Here’s a poem that I wrote earlier this year. My blog reminded me of it.

Dedicated to all of you who have ever been dumped!

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To the Point Topics for December 2008

Originally published on MySpace on December 10, 2008.

We’re taping a To the Point TV show today, and these are the topics for today:

Five Blackwater employees, all of them U.S. military veterans, were charged Monday with manslaughter and attempted manslaughter in a case where at least 17 Iraqi civilians were killed. Was it self defense? Were they following orders? Should their superiors be held responsible as well?

Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich was recently arrested, accused of trying to trade the Senate seat left vacant by US President-elect Barack Obama. Alaska Senator Ted Stevens was recently convicted on seven felony counts. Is corruption becoming politics as usual?

The media is having a feeding frenzy with it’s doom-and-gloom headlines every day. Is all of the negative press actually becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy and creating a deeper recession?

Vestas, the world’s largest windmill maker has announced that it will create 1,200 new jobs in Portland, relocating its North American headquarters and building a new manufacturing plant. Solarworld is turning its Hillsboro factory into the largest solar-wafer and cell factory in the United States and adding 1000 new jobs by 2010. Is the Portland Metro area setting the stage to become a regional leader in global “green-energy” development?

Chime in before noon and I might quote you on the show!

The episode will be posted online in a few days at

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Movies that don’t Stand the Test of Time: 9 1/2 Weeks

Originally published on MySpace on December 8, 2008.

A few weeks back Mike and I were discussing movies, as we often do, and we got onto the subject of movies we had seen 15-20 years ago. You know the movies I’m talking about, the movies that you thought were really great for some reason back then, so you want to watch them again to relive that memory.

But, memory can be a tricky thing, especially when you’re talking about a movie you thought was the bee’s knees 20 years ago.

The movie that kept coming up for me over and over again was 9 ½ Weeks. That’s the movie where Kim Basinger and Mickey Rourke have a torrid 9 ½-week affair. My memory of that movie was that it was very passionate and full of taboos. I also for some reason thought it was a good movie.

I know that I’m not the only one out there who has been looking to relive this particular memory, because I have been trying to rent this movie for the past four months and it’s always out of stock! Mike and I finally gave up and bought it for $6 off

So, we settle in on the couch a few nights ago with great expectations and hit the Play button.

The first thing we both notice is the really annoying 80’s music, 80’s hair, padded shoulders, and Pat-Benatar makeup on everyone. The second thing we notice is the lack of plot and bad editing. One minute Basinger and Rourke are meeting randomly at a fish market, the next thing you know she’s at his house in a bathrobe. WTF?

Mike and I both asked each other the same question: uh, what happened in between? How did they go from being strangers to Basinger being in a bathrobe with wet hair?

We actually only watched the first 30 minutes on the first go round because it was putting us to sleep!

We finally finished the last hour of it last night, and we agree that it is just plot-less soft porn dressed up as a Hollywood movie. There is no emotional connection between the two main characters, so you really don’t care what happens to either of them in the end. The subplot of the office girl dating Basinger’s ex isn’t compelling or interesting (or believable). Oh yeah, and Basinger squeals like a 12-year-old girl at a Jonas Brother’s concert throughout the entire film. Really annoying.

And if that’s not bad enough, there’s a sequel! I have never seen the sequel, and actually just discovered it this morning as I was searching through IMDB.

There’s one more movie that I think is going to be a monumental disappointment if I ever get to watch it again: Summer Lovers (1982). I think this was probably one of Peter Gallagher’s first movies. Also stars Daryl Hannah. Filmed in Santorini, Greece. That’s probably it’s only redeeming quality.

Have you ever gone back and watched a movie that you once thought was the best thing since sliced bread, and then figured out it was actually just a piece of tripe?

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