I am Told my Picture is Plastered All Over Town

So, my friend Debbie calls me up and says, “Your picture is in the Lake Oswego Review .” Anyone who has ever seen the Lake Oswego Review knows this can be a very bad thing. There’s a little section we refer to as the “Police Blotter.” Don’t ever get caught doing anything in Lake Oswego, because you WILL be publicly humiliated in that section of the paper.

I actually wondered what I had done that would get me in the blotter! Gasp!

Then Debbie said, “There’s a picture of you and my mom in the Relay for Life advertisement.”

Okay, that’s interesting, because I don’t remember a professional photographer taking my picture last year, but okay.

Then she calls me the next day and says, “You’re on the wall at Starbucks and Jamba Juice.”

The posters are everywhere.

I had not planned to do the Relay for Life (American Cancer Society) this year, because it was just too emotional for me last year. My friends, my family, and you all (my blog readers) donated enough money to my fund raising efforts to make me the 1 fund raiser on my team, and I think the 3 fund raiser in Lake Oswego.

I have been told that it would be really bad form if I didn’t show up this year since my face is on the poster! I had planned on coming by and bringing people coffee in the morning (it’s a 24-hour event), but I hadn’t planned on trying to raise money or walk the Survivor Lap.

However, I have now registered to walk the Survivor Lap, and I do have a page on the website: http://main.acsevents.org/goto/kjhorton

Donate if you like. Come walk a lap with me if you like. It’s a good cause.

The WTF Blog. Initialisms and WTF?

This blog is actually about two things:

  1. “Initialisms” (a.k.a. Internet acronyms)
  2. WTF’s

First up: Initialisms. These are the acronyms we all use on a daily basis when we text and IM and leave comments.

Example: LOL. As we all know this is an acronym for “Laugh out Loud,” as in, “Oh my God! That was so funny. LOL”

This is one initialism that I just can’t reconcile in my head. Every time I read it I hear “Laugh out Loud” in my head, which just doesn’t sound right to me, and doesn’t make me feel like laughing! However, I do like ROTFLOL (rolling on the floor laughing out loud). Go figure.

My all time favorite, however, is “WTF?” I love to swear! I know you’re shocked. I can’t bear to type the F-Bomb in blogs most of the time, but I’m thinking it I tell ya, so I use WTF. It is the perfect expression when someone just does something so inappropriate or just beyond comprehension. It is my way of cussing without cussing.

So, here’s my list of WTF’s for the week:

People who stop one full car length behind the line at a stoplight, and don’t trip the mechanism that actually causes the light to change. WTF?
People who leave one full car length between themselves and the car in front of them when the ass end of my car is hanging out in the intersection! WTF?
Hannah Montana. WTF?
The guy I saw in Fred Meyer wearing purple Ugg boots. WTF?
Having to pay $12 to see my own daughter’s dance recital. WTF?
Not being able to take video of my own daughter’s dance recital, and having to buy the official video. WTF?
The coldest, wettest, cloudiest June I can remember in Oregon. WTF?
People on dating sites who post pictures of themselves that are 10 years old and think I won’t notice the difference when I meet them in person. WTF?
I could probably go on and on, but I think I’ll give you all a chance to contribute. Favorite “Initialism?” Any initialism that drives you crazy? Any WTF’s to add to the list for the week?

Technorati Tags: WTF, Initialisms, LOL

Flying My Geek Flag Proudly!

I spend my days writing mostly serious marketing collateral and documentation for high tech companies. Lately I’ve been writing a lot about High Performance Computing in the modern data center. Don’t know what I’m talking about? That’s okay. I got tired of being so serious and wrote a rap/poem about it.

To get the full effect of this “poem,” you need to read it out loud like a rapper, because that’s how it sounds in my head!

I fly my geek flag proudly!

HPC Rap

High Performance Computing is da bomb you see,
If you can’t say that mouthful say “HPC.”
Clusters, and storage and processors galore,
Got a room full of servers from the ceiling to the floor.

Got blinking lights in racks,
Hardware servers all in stacks.
Welcome to my world,
it’s the IT shack.

Computational analysis,
I/O paralysis,
bottleneck dialysis,
need a psychoanalyst!

© 2008 Kelly Jo Horton


Natalie Portman does Gangsta Rap. I just noticed this version has advertising that pops up. I’ll look for a better version with no ads!

Totally Random Bits of Rubbish

I have not had time to sit down and write an honest to goodness blog, but I have all of these random bits of information that have been floating around in my head, and I want to share them with you all today.

Victoria‘s Secret is the one place it’s okay to yell from the dressing room, “This one is too small! I need a bigger size!” I did a little shopping there last weekend.

Why is it that when I changed my status to Single on MySpace I started getting ads like this?


WTF? Shouldn’t I be getting ads from match.com or something? Someone in Marketing needs to be fired!

The company I work for just hired a coffee service, and we now have Stumptown coffee in our kitchen! You can’t appreciate the gravity of this unless you live in Portland and/or have had the pleasure of tasting Stumptown’s Holler Mountain Blend.

I bought donuts at Albertson’s this morning, and the chatty checker said, “You know these donuts were 49 cents last summer and now they’re 79 cents. For what? It’s sugar and water and…I don’t even know if I would call that dough.” Yeah, what he said.

It cost me $74 to fill up my gas tank yesterday. Fossil fuel dependency sucks.

The new Indiana Jones movie sucked.

People who park crooked and take up more than one spot in the parking garage suck!

I recently bought my daughter a boring backpack. She asked me to decorate it. Her first request was a dragonfly. I did that with a Sharpie. Not bad!

The Rose Festival Fun Center is probably going to be the people-watching highlight of my week this week. I’m bringing a camera with me on my lunch-hour stroll next week. Carnie blog coming!

Why is it that I can find all of my ugly jeans, but my two favorite pairs are nowhere to be found?

I went wine tasting with my friend Julian last weekend. My favorite was the Macbeth’s Three Witches hard cider. Yes! We found a hard cider tasting room! The pictures are from Bethel Heights.


A man, who shall remain a mystery, brought me some beautiful flowers and took me out to a nice dinner on Tuesday night. :^)

John Breen rocks The Liberators! (an improv comedy group). They are all extremely talented.


The Janet and The Nick joined me for the show.

Random comments please. :^)

Murphy’s Law Pays Me a Visit, Over and Over and…

Murphy’s Law states that if anything can go wrong it will. Now I’m not saying that everything went wrong in the past week, but I’m saying that Murphy was certainly following me around for a while!

Last Thursday, Friday and Saturday it was pretty hot here in Portland, especially for this time of year. It was upwards of 95 all three days, and I was loving it until…

My automatic sprinkler system quit. I knew the heat was coming, so I asked my gardener (way ahead of time) to come open the valves, flip the switches, and whatever else it is he does. He sent one of his guys to do it, but he didn’t test it before he left. When the heat came I was out front watering with buckets because the sprinklers wouldn’t come on!

My sprinklers finally got fixed on Monday (clogged valves and leaks), just in time for the rain! I woke up Tuesday morning, looked out my bedroom window at the rain, and noticed my sprinklers were on. Great timing.

Saturday was my daughter’s 10th birthday party. I was at the Oaks Park roller rink with 12 kids, in 95-degree heat, and no air conditioning. We skated in that sweat box for three hours. Every time you stopped you just started dripping, so everyone just kept going until it was time to leave. (Oh, and I ran seven miles earlier in the day, because I didn’t realize I’d be skating in a sauna all afternoon! DOH!)

Oh, I discovered last Saturday (AFTER we got back from roller skating in the 95-degree heat) that my ice maker was not making ice. Of course I discovered this right before dinner when I had five tired sweaty little girls begging me for ice water. I tried the usual technique of chipping away little bits of ice that had built up on the tray, but no luck. My friend Leslie ended up bringing over a bag of ice that night.

I finally unclogged the ice maker (with the heat from a hair dryer) on Sunday, when it was a mere 60 degrees.

Let’s see, what else…

I had a really big audition today, and when I say big I mean big name product and a $5000 pay day. I ventured out at lunch to grab a salad and it started raining. Of course I was no where near an awning at the time, so my lovely curls lost their will to live by the time I got back to the office, and I went to my audition this afternoon with flat hair. C’est la vie.

But the good news is the company I work for moved into these bitchin’ new digs downtown. We’re in this old refurbished building, hardwood floors, high ceilings, red brick walls, lots of windows and skylights. It’s like working in a cool loft somewhere. I love it! I feel like I’m working in some über cool ad agency in New York or something.

My cubicle in the foreground

The view from my cubicle (that’s the CEO’s cubicle in the foreground but he’s always traveling)

The grafitti I look at when I’m sitting in my cubicle (There was a company that made basketball shoes in this space before us). the cool wall art is everywhere.

Did Murphy visit you this week?

Technorati Tags: Murphy’s Law, Über

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