Originally published on MySpace on April 1, 2009

This is a list of anonymous notes to anonymous people. I started creating this list in my head yesterday when I was thinking, hmmm, what would happen if I had no filter and could actually say anything I wanted to anyone without fear of consequences?

I challenge you to try this. Make a list of people, and then write a note to each one. I’ve seen people do this with their Top Friends lists before, but open it up a bit.

What you need to know about the list is this:

* Each note is to someone different.
* There is only one note per person.
* Some of these notes are to blog readers (MySpace and non-MySpace readers) whom I’ve never actually met in person.
* Some notes are to people I’m very close to.
* Some notes are for people who have passed away.
* Some notes are for people who would never read this blog.
* One of these notes may be for you, yes you.

It is human nature to read through the notes and think that more than one applies to you, but I guarantee that each note is for a different person.

And now, the notes…

If we ever sat down and compared notes over a cup of coffee we’d probably both be in shock.

I hope my daughter grows up to be just like you.

You are a great catch, and deserve an awesome partner. You will find her.

You creep me out a bit.

I was the one who ratted out the affair because I couldn’t stand to see you suffer anymore.

You are a highly toxic individual.

I think you’re a very unhappy person, and need to stop projecting your drama onto me.

Wow. How do you sleep at night?

You were the one.

Money is the root of all evil, or in your case, just your sole motivation in life.

You are the most brave and honest blogger I read.

You only hate me because you don’t know the whole story.

Make a f*cking decision.

You are my total and complete comfort zone.

If you’re not willing to be emotionally vulnerable you’ll never keep her.

I am a cyber sleuth and I know everything, yes, everything.

Your phone calls in January saved my life.

I love you dearly, but drop the constant cynicism.

You kiss like a St. Bernard.

I’m really not that into you.

You are one of the most kind, loving, generous men I know, and you need to dump her and move on.

You emotionally ground me when I spin out of control.

I like you better when you don’t drink.

Grow a pair and kick her to the curb already!

Please buy a better running bra and better bras in general. The girls need a little help at our age. Saggy girls, not attractive.

I should have said no.

I really wish you would pick up the phone and ask how I’m doing.

I saw your husband put his wedding ring into his pocket at a party.

I don’t miss you much.