Clinging to the Edge

Originally published on MySpace on April 15, 2009

Today I ran along the waterfront at lunch, and as I was
crossing the Hawthorne Bridge I noticed a sign that said
“Suicide Crisis Hotline,” which I thought very timely considering
I had the following story bouncing around in my brain before I crossed the bridge…

We clung to the edge of the bridge, fingers entwined,
smiling, laughing, living on the edge, never realizing the peril we were in. I
met you there, on the edge, the ledge, and there we stayed for months on end.
We seemed happy there, on the edge, until you dared me to look down.

“Look down,” you said, “Look down.”

“I can’t look down! I won’t look down!” I said, with fiery
denial, not wanting to believe our entire world existed on the edge.

I continued to look up, as I felt your fingers slip, my grip.
I fought to climb up, and you fought to let go.

I stood on the bridge, at the edge of the ledge, watching
you tumble into the darkness where you so desperately wanted to go.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t save you” I said, through a veil of
tears as I felt your fingers slip away. “I choose to save myself.”

And the song that was playing in an infinite loop on my iPod for my whole run was Jai Ho from the Slumdog Millionaire soundtrack

Jai Ho

(Jai Ho)
(Jai Ho)I got (I got) shivers (shivers),
When you touch away,
I’ll make you hot,
Get all you got,
I’ll make you wanna say (Jai Ho)

(Jai Ho)

I got (I got) fever (fever),
Running like a fire,
For you I will go all the way,
I wanna take you higher (Jai Ho)
I keep it steady
Cuz steady is how I feel it.
This beat is heavy, so heavy,
You gonna feel it.

(Jai Ho)You are the reason that I breathe,(Jai Ho)
You are the reason that I still believe,(Jai Ho)
You are my destiny,
Jai Ho! Uh-uh-uh-oh!
(Jai Ho)No there is nothing that can stop us(Jai Ho)
Nothing can ever come between us,(Jai Ho)
So come and dance with me,
Jai Ho! (oohh)

Catch me, catch me, catch me, come and catch me,
I want you now,
I know you can save me, come and save me,
I need you now.
I am yours forever, yes, forever,
I will follow,
Anywhere in anyway,
Never gonna let go.

Jai Ho

(Jai Ho) Escape (escape) away (away),
I’ll take you to a place,
This fantasy of you and me,
I’ll never lose the chase. (Jai Ho)

Yeaahhhh (Jai Ho) Yeaahhhh

I can (I can) feel you (feel you),
Rushing through my veins,
There’s a notion in my heart,
I will never be the same.

(Jai Ho)Just keep it burnin’, yeah baby,
Just keep it comin’, (Jai Ho)
You’re gonna find out, baby,
I’m one in a million.

(Jai Ho)You are the reason that I breathe,(Jai Ho)
You are the reason that I still believe,(Jai Ho)
You are my destiny,

Jai Oh! Uh-uh-uh-oh!

(Jai Ho)No there is nothing that can stop us(Jai Ho)
Nothing can ever come between us(Jai Ho)
So come and dance with me,
Jai Ho! (oohh) (You and me, it’s destiny)

Catch me, catch me, catch me, come and catch me,
I want you now,
I know you can save me, come and save me,
I need you now.
I am yours forever, yes, forever,
I will follow,
Anywhere in anyway,
Never gonna let go.

Jai Ho (Yeeeaaahh), Jai Ho (Yeeeaaahh), Jai Ho

I need you,
Gonna make it,(Jai Ho)
I’m ready,
So take it!

(Jai Ho)You are the reason that I breathe,(Jai Ho)
You are the reason that I still believe,(Jai Ho)
You are my destiny,
Jai Ho! Uh-uh-uh-oh!

(Jai Ho)No there is nothing that can stop us,(Jai Ho)
Nothing can ever come between us,(Jai Ho)
So come and dance with me,
Jai Ho! (oohh) (You and me, it’s destiny)

Jai Ho!

Baila baila!
Baila baila!

Jai Ho!

Baila baila!

Jai Ho!

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