Why Men Love Bitches: My Take on It

Originally published on MySpace on February 21, 2009.

Note: Do NOT get hung up on the term “bitch.” If you can’t get past that term just replace it with “confident” or “self assured.” This is not about the bitches we all know and despise. It’s about the strong confident women we know and admire.

I just finished reading two books by Sherry Argov, “Why Men Love Bitches,” and “Why Men Marry Bitches.”

Before you go all Postal on me let me explain Ms. Argov’s definition of “bitch.”

“When I use the term bitch, the woman I’m describing is not cruel or mean. … I use bitch in a tongue-in-cheek way. The term is intended to be satirical and is not intended to take itself too seriously. I use it to describe a strong woman who has her own identity and is secure with who she is.”

Ms. Argov interviewed hundreds of men to get the inside scoop on how men think, and from the polls I’ve done on my own, she is spot on with this book.

“Why Men Love Bitches” is a simple, honest look at why Bitches rule and Doormats drool. Most of us don’t want to be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t have an opinion, can’t make a decision, and always says, “Whatever makes YOU happy honey.”

There are 100 “Attraction Principles” in Why Men Love Bitches, and 75 “Relationship Principles” in Why Men Marry Bitches. Let’s look at a few:

Attraction Principle #1
Anything a person chases in life runs away.

Men are natural born hunters. They like to chase and catch their prey. Unfortunately I’m a bit of a hunter myself. I was never that wallflower who sat against the wall in the gym waiting for someone to ask me to dance. So this principle is probably the one I struggle with the most.


Attraction Principle #9

If the choice is between her dignity and having a relationship, the bitch will prioritize her dignity above all else.

I’ll keep my dignity, thank you.


Attraction Principle #30

Any time a woman competes with another woman, she demeans herself.

Been there. Done that. Done.


Attraction Principle #43

If you allow your rhythm to be interrupted, you’ll create a void. Then, to replace what you give up, you’ll start to expect and need more from your partner.

This is aimed directly at those of you who drop your friends and your own interests as soon as you get a relationship. When the relationship ends you feel a huge void because you let go of your own interests to be in the relationship. I learned a long time ago to never ever do this. I have a very full life, with or without a partner.


Attraction Principle #99

Truly powerful people don’t explain why they want respect. They simply don’t engage someone who doesn’t give it to them.

Amen!

While I don’t agree with everything Ms. Argov says in her books, I agree with about 95% of it.

I have recommended these books to all of my girlfriends and some of my guy friends. And let me tell you an interesting little factoid: the strong women love the books, the doormats hate the books. Why? Because they are not ready to face the fact that they are doormats.

So, if you happen to read the books and have a strong negative reaction, take a look at yourself in the mirror and ask yourself why.

My friend Jean and I were discussing the books last night and she had an interesting perspective. She said, “These books are not just about how to be in a relationship. These books are about how to carry yourself through life.” So true.

So, if you read these books, read them from the perspective of how you can become that strong confident person you want to be in ALL of the relationships in your life, not just in the romantic relationships.

Bottom Line: Sherry Argov is not telling us anything we don’t know already. She’s just pointing out the obvious: confidence is sexy and attractive, insecurity is not.

http://www.sherryargov.com/

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